On April 13, 1995, six days before a straight, white male mass murderer stole the lives of 149 adults and 19 children at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City, National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre warned America’s greatest patriots about an upcoming attack on one of white America’s most sacred gifts:
“Our freedoms.”
“Most Americans don’t realize that our freedoms are slowly slipping away,” LaPierre wrote in his NRA fundraising letter. “You can see it when jack-booted government thugs, wearing black, armed to the teeth, break down a door, open fire with an automatic weapon, and kill or maim law-abiding citizens…And if you want to help me stop this destruction of the Constitution, then I hope you can make that special contribution of $15, $20, $25, $35 or $50 to the NRA today.”
I’ve always wanted to meet a jack-booted government thug.
First of all, who is Jack? Did he corner the thug market by offering other thug accessories before he got the no-bid government contract? Or did he focus exclusively on retail thug boots? Are his boots still available for purchase by non-government thugs?
Is there a thug training program for civilian Jackboot enthusiasts, or does one need a thug license to qualify? Are there other opportunities for advancement in the thug industry? How many years must a thug put in before they can retire their jack boots and join the private thug sector? Do government-issued boots come with the black uniform and firearm, or is it BYOB?
I’ve seen these jack-booted thugs. But for some reason, I can’t find any examples of those patriotic NRA members speaking out against the ICE agents when their boots literally “break down a door, open fire with an automatic weapon, and kill [and] maim law-abiding citizens.” Mississippi police officer Hunter Foster was dressed in an all-Black uniform and armed to the teeth when he shot and killed 1-year-old Kohen Wiley. What kind of boots do the soldiers deployed to Washington, D.C., New Orleans and Memphis wear?
To be fair, the jack-booted thug is not my top 10 people I want to meet, which includes:
An evangelical Christian Trump supporter: I just wanna ask them to name one of the 10 Commandments that Donald Trump hasn’t broken.
Vote fraudsters: Everyone believes their vote can influence the outcome of an election, but some believe it so much that they cheat. We’re still looking for them.
A fiscal conservative Republican: Remember when they lowered the national debt? Me neither.
Trans champions: We have all heard about the invisible trans athletes who want to play sports, but why can’t anyone beat them? And where are the pictures of them standing on podiums holding their trophies? They must be winning every athletic competition because only a loser would raise a stink about a trans person coming in fifth place.
League of Extraordinary Educators: To qualify for LEE membership, you must prove you can get third-graders to learn graduate school-level critical race theory, teach medical students to ignore scientific evidence about vaccines and convince the most educated scholars in America to join the liberal agenda.
A small-government conservative: When they finish fighting the jack-booted government thugs, they’re gonna get the government out of women’s reproductive choices and gender-affirming care clinics.
Sharia lawyers: Somehow, the Americans who live under this onerous system have managed to evade detection for years without a single charge of violating the First Amendment. Their legal team must be incredible.
A pro-life Republican: Anyone who appreciates the value of life would hate a president who sent soldiers to die in a pointless war while announcing plans to broadcast a government-sanctioned firing squad. They’d definitely support universal health care, vaccines and common-sense gun laws.
Haters, takers and destroyers: I don’t want to travel overseas to meet the people in other countries who “hate our way of life” and our “freedoms.” But I’d like to meet some Americans who hate the flag, the troops, Jesus, the Founding Fathers and our country. When are they gonna destroy the Constitution, our history and our God-given rights? I’m still waiting for them to take my guns. And last, but certainly not least…
An exceptional American: Besides myself, of course.
I’m sure I’ll meet them all.
Either they all exist, or thousands of so-called conservative politicians, preachers and parents have been recycling the same lies for decades. But that would also mean that most white voters are dumb enough to believe this bullshit and keep voting for it every year.
And that’s a preposterous thing to believe.
Today’s Reading List
Evidence Shows Hackers Changed Votes in the 2016 Election But No One Will Admit It by Michael Harriot
Exclusive: Thousands of Black Votes in Georgia Disappeared and No One Can Explain It by Michael Harriot
I’m Not Saying Donald Trump Is Planning a Coup, but He’s Doing Exactly What Someone Would Do if They Were Planning a Coup by Michael Harriot
Black men, white lies and why Stacey Abrams couldn’t turn Georgia blue by Michael Harriot
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