Where Does Sammie Rank Among the GOATs of Fictional Black Musicians?
Is the "Sinners" blues prodigy one of the top 10 musical acts that never existed?
“This is why we can’t advance as a people.”
“Y’all some haters. I bet you were listening to Jamal Lyon when you texted this BS.”
“Nah, I was bumpin’ Ashley Banks’ CD. You probably thought Bookman should’ve beat Michael Evans in the Good Times talent show.”
This is just a small sampling of the musical critiques that have filled my group chat over the past few days. The argument centered around the musical prodigy whose character served as the main protagonist for the movie Sinners. While the praise for Ryan Coogler’s masterpiece was unanimous, when Sammie “Preacher Boy” Moore found himself at the center of a traditional African-American pop culture game, controversy ensued.
“Eddie King Jr. would wash that lil’ boy,” explained an actual music critic via text. “Your mind is clouded by recency bias.”
“Effie’s catalog is too deep,” someone else responded. “He would’ve packed the club in Idlewild, tho.
“Over Angel Davenport??? This is how our history is erased. The ancestors are not pleased.”
Some said they’d need to see Sammie’s discography before they could fully assess his career. Others contended that questioning his talent was disrespectful to the memories of the innocent sharecroppers who gave their lives so that Preacher Boy could live his vampire ancestors’ wildest dreams. As the conversation of where Sammie ranked among his peers escalated into virtual fisticuffs, we eventually landed on the ultimate question:
Where does Sammie rank among his peers?
When it comes to fictional white musicians, the internet has probably already answered that question (The answer is probably Spinal Tap, the Blues Brothers or Pink Floyd*). However, to properly rank Sammie among his peers, we first must agree on a definitive ranking of Black musical acts. So we came up with a set of criteria:
Main characters only: We’re only ranking television and movie characters in featured roles. For instance, while Cavi represented “real hip-hop” in the cult classic Brown Sugar, Mos Def’s role wasn’t significant enough to make the list.
You can’t be real: We’re only ranking fictional characters. It wouldn’t be fair to pit people who actually existed against fictional musicians. While Jamie Foxx deserves praise for his starring role in Ray, Eddie King Jr. would destroy Mr. Charles in a Verzuz battle.
You must be great in the universe: To make our list, the character must have reached a level of musical acclaim in their fictional universe. For all we know, that beautiful rendition of "Joyful Joyful” in Sister Act 2 could’ve been Rita Louise Watson’s last musical performance. We have no idea if Young Caesar had a successful rap career or if he was convicted for his part in Majestic’s murder.
Only one character per project: While old-school blues heads from Clarksdale still claim Delta Slim as their GOAT, we limited the rankings to one character from a project. After all, some people are still arguing over whether Jamal Lyon was more talented than Hakeem.
The quality of the show is not a factor: No one would argue that The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is more iconic than The Parkers. But when it comes to singing, Kim Parker was much more talented than Ashley Banks. The Jamie Foxx Show pales in comparison to Living Single. But I still don’t understand how Fancy ignored Jamie King’s vocal and instrumental talents while Kyle Barker’s deacon-like voice somehow melted the heart of a sexy, smart, successful attorney like Maxine Shaw. Make it make sense.
Here is our list of the top 10 musical acts that never existed.
It's up to you to decide who you'd replace with Sammie.
* Have you ever heard a Pink Floyd song at a nightclub or a cookout? Why hasn’t Pharrell or DJ Premier sampled them? And before you call me a Pink Floyd truther, hum your favorite Pink Floyd song. See? Pink Floyd is a Caucasian myth like the Loch Ness Monster or people who “don’t see color.”
10. DJay, “Hustle & Flow”
While most people think he isn’t necessarily a great lyricist, when recreational-activities sales associate DJay raps about having “a couple hoes working,” he means it in the most literal sense. Plus, no one can question his street credibility after he did an 11-month bid for firearm possession and still had the streets of Memphis on lock.
Known for: While most people have heard his mainstream, Oscar-winning hit “Hard Out Here For a Pimp,” real Memphians bump “Whoop Dat Trick” from the early mixtape years.
9. Steve & The High Tops, “The Steve Harvey Show”
If not for funk music, we wouldn’t have disco, go-go or hip-hop. So when the legendary frontman Steve Hightower decided to become a high school principal as his second act, he not only influenced American music, but he also inspired the youth. And if you’re wonder how this band made the list, just remember bandmate “Pretty Tony” joined the High Tops instead of playing in his brothers’ less-successful music group …
The Isley Brothers.
Known for: If your mama wasn’t playing “Break Me Off a Piece of That Funk” while she vacuumed on Saturday, was your house really clean?
8. Lil Murda, “P-Valley”
Most people are surprised to discover that J. Alphonse Nicholson, who portrays Lil Murda, is a classically trained actor and not an actual rapper. Not only does the Mississippi emcee combines lyricism, crowd-moving live performance and the nekkid women, he is one of the first openly gay rappers to have a hit record. Plus, I was today years old when I discovered that one of my favorite rappers, Deante Hitchcock, ghostwrites for Lil Murda. It doesn’t hurt that P-Valley consistently has the most beautifully filmed music sequences on television, which inspires perhaps the greatest compliment one can give to a fictional rapper:
“Where can I download that song?”
Known for: “Mississippi Pride”
7. Bleek Quartet, “Mo’ Better Blues”
Before Tank had Bangas and Ahmir Thompson was Quest-like, Bleek Gilliam was the man. Although his eponymous ensemble wasn’t necessarily famous, among jazz purists, the Bleek Quartet was one of the most respected jazz bands on the circuit and included luminaries such as Shadow Henderson, Left Hand Lacey, Bottom Hammer and Rhythm Jones. And if you were lucky enough to catch them on the right night, Clarke Bentancourt might even drop in to sing a song or two.
I saw them playing at a small bar in New Orleans during Essence Fest, but it wasn’t the same without Bleek.
Known for: “Mo Betta Blues”
6. Paper Boi, “Atlanta”
If you’re wondering how someone we’ve never heard rap ended up on this list, we never saw Bernie Mac perform comedy on The Bernie Mac Show or George dry-clean a shirt on The Jeffersons. We saw Lisa’s mom defend her in small claims court, but how do we know Clair Huxtable wasn’t a terrible lawyer?
Centering a television show around a world-famous rapper whom the audience actually never hears rap is one of the sharpest long-running jokes of Donald Glover’s magnum opus “Atlanta.” Hearing Alfred “Paper Boi'“ Miles rap is inconsequential. We know his success in the music industry catapulted him from a one-bedroom apartment to a spacious rural farm, offers from a major label, a European tour and an invitation to the Grammy Awards.
Known for: “Paper Boi”
5. Shug Avery, “The Color Purple”
The only artist whose repertoire spans multiple genres, Shug Avery’s catalog includes gospel, jazz and blues. Not only was Shug a popular recording artist and a band leader, she could rock any venue like a juke joint in rural Georgia and headline clubs on Beale Street in Memphis. And there’s only one response for anyone who doubts her ranking:
You shole is ugly!
Known for: “Miss Celie’s Blues”
4. The Dreamettes, “Dreamgirls”
This entry includes the Dreamettes, the Dreams, Deena Jones and the Dreams and Effie White’s solo career. However, it doesn’t include Lorrell’s hit with Nelly or Michelle’s gospel career. Still, the group had a solid career before they tried to go disco.
If Effie never left the group, they could’ve been No. 1 on the list.
Known for: “Cadillac Car”
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