The 2025 Wypipo Awards

For those who felt attacked, ostracized or marginalized during Black History Month, we honor the standouts who are making the world a whiter place.

Nine years ago, the National Organization of Tireless, American Liars and Lowlifes Working Year-round to Preserve Inequality, Prejudice and Oppression (NOTALLWYPIPO) embarked upon a mission to honor the notable achievements of America’s underwashclothed community.

Despite rewarding the melanin-impaired community with a disproportionate number of Grammys, Tonys, Oscars, Emmys, political access, judicial appointments, financial wealth, educational opportunity and social capital since the day they began their quest to steal an entire continent, the world tends to ignore the most crucial aspect of Caucasian contributions:

Wypipoing.

What is wypipoing? Wypipoing is referring to people as “snowflakes” while raising a generation of children too fragile to learn Black history, see a negro mermaid or wear a mask. Wypipoing is whining about “cancel culture” while canceling affirmative action, reproductive rights and two presidential debates. And if you find the term “wypipoing” offensive …

Congratulations, you’re wypipoing!

Every year, we gather a diverse panel of wypipologists to nominate the worst and whitest in politics, news, entertainment and overall caucasity. Our slate of electors includes Black people, people of African descent and diners who waitresses automatically assume want grape jelly and hot sauce.

Here are your 2025 nominees and winners.

Worst New Wypipo

• Tony Hinchcliffe: After years of opening for Joe Rogan, “Tony the insult Caucasian” became a household name as the opening act at the Madison Square Garden Nazi Trump rally.

• Pete Hegseth: Trump’s DUI hire for secretary of defense supports military traitors and was flagged for his association with domestic extremists. He refuses to discuss accusations of sexual assault but is banning transgender troops because, according to him, they are not committed to “an honorable truthful and disciplined lifestyle, even in one’s personal life.”

• John Fetterman (R D-Penn.): Although the George Zimmerman of the Senate seems to be slowly transforming into an undercover MAGA Republican, if you look closely, Fetterman has an uncanny resemblance to Thanos. Perhaps he is just waiting for the perfect opportunity to snap his fingers and make his allegiance to the Democratic Party disappear.

• Cenk Uygur: When people say, “The Democrats need their own Joe Rogan,” I just point to the populist TYT host’s heel turn and say: “Like him?”

And the winner is: Luigi Mangione

Perhaps nothing illustrates the concept of white privilege like the 15 minutes of fame afforded to the thug who allegedly gunned down UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.

If Mangione was Black, he’d be a masked thug who murdered someone because of a personal beef. But since he was a white man from a family, he became the victim of a crime he committed. Even after authorities apprehended Mangione, the media and the public needed a reason for this savage act. Maybe it was a revolutionary act of civil disobedience or a warning shot against the capitalist health care industry. Apparently, you can kill a rich, powerful white man if your back hurts.

Until their culture stops promoting white-on-white violence, the Caucasian community will never get ahead.

White Tears Award

• Halftime Haters: While Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl Halftime Show had the biggest audience in the history of American television, according to white people, it was also the worst halftime show ever.

• Pardon the Insurrection: After whining over Joe Biden pardoning his son, white people cried tears of joy when Donald Trump pardoned the Jan. 6 insurrectionists.

• Cultural Reappropriation: Beyoncé and Shaboozey caused Caucasian consternation by taking country music back from the white people who took it from the Black people who created it.

• Moanin’ Joe: After Trump rejected Joe Scarborough’s offer to fellate the then-president-elect, MSNBC’s resident blowhard had an on-camera temper tantrum over people pointing out something he actually did.

And the winner is: MAGA Regret

According to multiple reports, white people are beginning to have some doubts that the twice-impeached, election-denying, insurrection-inciting, convicted felon who bungled a worldwide pandemic will actually make America great.

The MAGA misgivings don’t just come from people who are mortgaging their homes to purchase a dozen eggs. Trump’s fascination with tariffs and the growing economic downturn has caused business leaders to rethink their support. Hispanic Trump voters feel betrayed by mass deportations. Farmers who voted for Trump wonder where they are going to get migrant workers. Trump supporters who worked in government are wondering where they are going to find jobs. In Dearborn, Michigan, which boasts more Muslims per capita than any city in America, Joe Biden won nearly 70% of the votes cast in 2020. After the town flipped for Trump in 2024, residents who criticized Kamala Harris think they “screwed up.”

I don’t believe you, you need more people.

Oftentimes, white people treat white supremacy like a negative side effect of a drug that might cure their illness. To them, racism, incompetence and blatant dishonesty don’t outweigh the possible benefits they might receive by making a white supremacist the most powerful person in the world. It’s not that they don’t consider the consequences; they just don’t care about the people who are harmed when they fuck around.

Until they find out.

Worst Wypipoing by a Duo or Group

• MSNBC: Fox News and Benjamin Netanyahu are scrambling to keep up after MSNBC’s most recent ethnic cleansing.

• Project 2025: Not since Louisiana included a grandfather clause, poll taxes, literacy tests, white primaries and non-unanimous juries in its 1898 constitution has one group produced such a detailed roadmap for white supremacy.

• DOGE: A man who was convicted of fraud and a guy who wasted $44 billion on a platform where abuse is rampant are now tackling waste, fraud and abuse

• Target: Target dropped its DEI goals and ended a program stocking products from Black businesses, and reinvested the company's record profits into racism retail industry.

And the winner is: The Assholigarchy

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. Meta mogul Mark Zuckerberg. L.A. Times propagandist Patrick Soon-Shiong. Apartheid enabler Elon Musk. Evil Tony Starks Peter Thiel. Black woman bullier Bill Ackman. Scam Likeliest Vivek Ramaswamy.

No, this is not a list of the billionaires who pledged fealty (and money) to Donald Trump’s authoritarian takeover of the United States. Nor is it a list of people who fuel Trump’s propaganda machine. There have always been people for whom politics is part of a capitalist plan to amass wealth and power.

Unlike the Rockefellers, the Vanderbilts or even the right-wing Koch brothers, Trump’s league of unextraordinary gentlemen don’t give a damn about protecting their public image, their reputation or even American democracy. They don’t just deny the existence of white supremacy, they proudly salute Nazis, promote white nationalism and support resegregation. The only genocide they acknowledge is the white one.

To be fair, Trump is not their leader. He’s just a means to an end. Besides their love of power and profit, they have no unifying belief system or overarching political philosophy (which makes them more dangerous). In fact, they only have one trait in common:

They’re rich assholes.

Whiteboi of the Year

• Elon Musk: This is Elon’s fifth straight nomination, which leaves him tied with Donald Trump as the whitest boy since Jeremy “Powder” Reed.

• Robert F. Kennedy Jr.: In one year, the anti-vaxxer-in-chief went from telling Roseanne Barr about the time he put a bear in his trunk to flushing America’s entire health care system down the toilet.

• Daniel Penny: It seems like a long time ago, but this is the guy who got away with choking a Black man to death. No, not that guy. Or that one. Or that one.

• Brett Favre: The king of welfare queens took time off from stealing from poor people to whine about the national anthem and DEI.

And the winner is: Joe Rogan

What can I say about Joe Rogan that I haven’t already said?

OK, I’ll say it again:

Rogan and his minion of bearded free-thinkers who used-to-be-libertarian will never be substantially affected by the deadly virus of white supremacy. It is disingenuous at best and outright stupid at worst for someone as famous as Rogan to pretend that he is allowing his listeners to explore ideas without acknowledging the actions these positions can inspire and the harm these racist concepts cause in real life.

White boys are free to poke, prod and play around with the poisonous snake of white supremacy because they are born with natural immunity to its venom …

Rogan is just a man who built a soapbox on which he allows white supremacists to stand. Of course, some people will claim that holding Rogan accountable for the stage he built is “cancel culture.” But do not weep, my child; if there’s anyone who can’t be canceled, it’s Joe Rogan and white boys like him.

Congratulations!

Karen of the Year

• Megyn Kelly: The Susan Lucci of the Wypipo Awards has been nominated every year but has never won. Maybe she should take Don Lemon’s advice.

• Linda McMahon: The nominee for secretary of education has pledged to dismantle the Department of Education and doesn’t know if Black history is illegal.

• Raygun: If the Olympics had a colonizing competition, the Kangaroo breakdancer would be a gold medalist.

• Tulsi Gabbard: A military veteran, the top Republican senator, a former national security adviser and an actual spy think the director of National Intelligence might be a spy. For some reason, my computer won’t allow me to say m–

And the winner is: white womanhood.

I’ve been thinking about white women a lot lately (Sorry, Dr. Umar).

Most Black people have long given up on the notion that white women will ever stop enabling white supremacy. I’ve grown immune to them using their privilege to separate themselves from other bigots while simultaneously decrying sexism, workplace misconduct and attacks on reproductive rights. I am willing to bet that some version of the phrase “not this white woman” will appear under this article. But this is not about white women or their tears.

This is about the idea of white womanhood.

Not only can white women turn their tears into a weapon, but historically, white men have used the directive to protect white women as a tool to inflict blunt force trauma The purity of white women was the basis of the threadbare lie lynch mobs used to justify murder. Segregationists used the prospect of race-mixing to “kick up dust” for Jim Crow. The MAGA movement weaponized the threat of white women losing athletic competitions to write trans laws. They benefit most from DEI and affirmative action and they are part of the effort to dismantle it. They are the innocent victims whose faces justify xenophobia, insurrection and even genocide.

Big White Lie of the Year

• Kamala Harris’ Race: Kamala Harris wasn’t qualified because she went to an HBCU, slept around with Black men and wasted time with her Black sorority sisters but, somehow, she wasn’t Black.

• Donald Trump’s Ear: Remember when a sniper shot Donald Trump’s ear off, and it magically grew back in a couple of weeks?

• MAGAnomics: Apparently, Trump can levy tariffs against sovereign countries and they will pay them, which will somehow reduce prices.

• Pet Food: In a small suburb in Ohio, Haitian immigrants were eating cats and dogs.

And the winner is: DEI

Buried beneath the consternation over affirmative action policies and diversity, equity and inclusion mandates is the belief that underqualified, ignorant Black people are taking jobs, opportunities and trophies from deserving Caucasians.

Wypipo really believe in the myth of the American meritocracy.

Apparently, the descendants of mediocre Europeans who left their homelands to take advantage of welfare in the form of race-based servitude, headrights and manifest destiny are overrepresented in boardrooms, colleges and every institution because they are smarter, more talented and work harder. They can’t conceive of the generational benefits of money stolen from Black taxpayers to build schools, universities and banks that exclusively served white people. They don’t count the Jim Crow laws that gave them control of housing, voting and the criminal justice system. They don’t consider school funding disparities or the racial wage gap or the power structure that has existed since America’s founding.

Every political, social, economic and educational institution in America was specifically designed to benefit white people. But any attempt to reform these institutions by making them more diverse and inclusive is considered theft.

Or maybe “merit” is wypipo for “privilege.”

Best Supporting Wypipo

• Byron Donalds: He supported Trump and all he got was a presidential endorsement for a governor’s race he’ll lose.

• Pastor Keion Henderson: The megachurch pastor regurgitated white supremacist talking points to whitesplain away Haiti’s economic history.

• Eric Adams: The NYC mayor may be the first Black man to ever benefit from prejudice, xenophobia and a racist Justice Department.

• Stephen A. Smith: White people think Stephen A Smith is kinda dumb, But they also believe Black people are dumb enough to think Stephen A Smith is kinda smart. Meanwhile, Black people think that white people who believe Stephen A. Smith is smart proves just how dumb white people are.

And the winner is: NABJ

As we criticize mainstream media for using objectivity as a shield for whiteness, let’s not forget that the National Association of Black Journalists helped Donald Trump become president of the United States.

This is not an opinion.

At a time when the world needed Black journalism the most, America’s most powerful and influential Black journalists created a platform and handed it to a white supremacist so he could continue to attack the Black women who the organization was created to protect. They invited him. They amplified his hate. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t mention that, as a dues-paying NABJ member, my money helped fund this feckless circus of what could only be described as first-class collective coonery. They should be ashamed of themselves.

I am.

In a ceremony held earlier, the following people received awards:

• Whitest thing that happened this year: Trying to colonize Canada and Greenland after white people already colonized Canada and Greenland.

• Worst thing wypipo ruined this year: “Not Like Us.”

• Best thing wypipo did this year: Getting rid of Matt Gaetz.

• Worst thing wypipo did this year: For the 403rd year in a row, most white people did nothing.

• Almost too white to believe: Laura Trump’s song with French Montana (Although I suspect she thought “French Montana” was a white bluegrass artist.

• Whitest name of the year: The Gulf of White Tears/“Bleach-Blonde, Bad Built, Butch Body” Bish (tie)

Wypipo of the Year: The Silent Majority

While I usually try to resist painting any group of people with a broad bush without statistical evidence, there is a question I’ve struggled with for the entirety of my career as a student, professor, economist, journalist and human being:

How many white are people racist?

The answer depends on which definition of chooses to accept. If you define racism as “a belief that race is a fundamental determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race,” the answer becomes difficult to ascertain. It is impossible to quantify what people believe with any measure of certainty.

But the definition of racism doesn’t end there. Unlike other words that have multiple meanings, the dictionary doesn’t move on to another definition. Instead, Merriam-Webster adds more context to the same definition. According to “the most trusted authority on the English language,” racism is not just a belief; it is “also: behavior or attitudes that reflect and foster this belief.”

Silence is a behavior.

Even if most white people do not believe in their inherent superiority, it is an indisputable fact that most white people do not speak out when they encounter the systemic oppression of a racial group. While they might not support racism, there is not a single political, social or economic issue in the 248-year history of America that continued to exist despite the majority of Americans’ vocal opposition — not taxation or suffrage or voting rights or gay marriage or Vietnam War or even police reform

That’s the foundational premise of democratic government. History is nothing more than a collection of verified facts and, on this point, the political science, the data historical record is unmistakably clear:

If the majority of white people oppose something, it ceases to exist.

Of course, some people will say: “Most white people oppose rape, murder and theft, yet crime still exists.” This is also true. But to our credit, we created systems to address crime. Our vocal opposition is why legislators write crime bills, judges hand out harsh systems and law enforcement agencies get billions of dollars in police funding every year. We didn’t change what rapists, murderers and thieves believe. However, our vocal opposition resulted in systems that, over time, dramatically decreased criminal behavior. In any given year, less than 3% of Americans are victims of a violent crime. Only 3% of the population has ever been convicted of a violent crime. For 97% of Americans, violent crime does not exist …

Because we are not silent about it.

In 2019, I was selected for a fellowship at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. During one of the sessions, a criminologist asked the class to name the most effective crimefighting tool in history. Some said guns, but the data shows that criminals use guns to commit more crimes than police use them to prevent crime. The automobile was not the answer. I already knew the answer he was searching for, but I didn’t raise my hand. Finally, he revealed the answer.

“The telephone.”

He was wrong.

Telephones do not stop crime any more than laws, guns or police.

People can use telephones to report a crime to the police. Your telephone is part of a system that allows another system (the police) to respond to our voices. But most crimes go unreported. It is impossible to know why. Perhaps it is because people do not think some crimes are important enough to speak out. Maybe some people don’t oppose crime. It is impossible to quantify.

But the question remains: Are most white people racist?

The answer is clear.

Can you name one movement for equality or racial justice that has enjoyed the vocal support of most white people? Even better, can you name one form of racial discrimination that the majority of white people vocally opposed? Not slavery. Not Jim Crow. I’m asking about what they did. And when it comes to the “systemic oppression of a racial group to the social, economic, and political advantage of another,” what white people believe does not matter. We know what they did.

Nothing.

For the people who experience it, racism is a form of violence. It is a thief who robs people of their humanity and a serial killer who murders dreams. It assaults, it batters and it violates bodies without consent. If racism is a crime, then silence is its accomplice. If white people just stopped doing nothing, it would cease to exist.

But racism exists.

We’re just celebrating the people who made it all possible.