ContrabandCamp

ContrabandCamp

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
G.O.A.T. Tournament Final Four: Would You Rather ...
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
User's avatar
Discover more from ContrabandCamp
Smart. Bold. Brilliant. Black.
Over 17,000 subscribers
Already have an account? Sign in

G.O.A.T. Tournament Final Four: Would You Rather ...

The quest to find the Greatest Oppressor of All Time has reached the Final Four. Who will take home the gold medal for white supremacy?

Michael Harriot's avatar
Michael Harriot
Apr 10, 2025
37

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
G.O.A.T. Tournament Final Four: Would You Rather ...
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
3
3
Share

Welcome to the penultimate round of the racism championship of the world!

We are ready to put our divisional champions against each other to see who will win the title of the Greatest Oppressor of All Time. According to our scientifically sound results, Donald Trump is now officially the most racist person in the history of politics and government. When it comes to companies and organizations, the police reached the division finals in a landslide. Meanwhile, longshot Peter Thiel fought his way through the influencer division while Christian Nationalists scored a surprising victory over white women.

While it’s easy to judge a person by their actions or a group by its negative impact, you are now tasked with deciding which kind of white supremacy is worse. Is hate worse than institutional inequality? Is an inept doofus filled with hate more dangerous than a competent racial bigot? Does a movement do more damage than an individual?

It’s time to choose.

Loading...

Would you rather live in a country run by a corrupt, privileged, barely educated half-wit who is never held accountable for his actions …

Or Donald Trump?

Would you rather the most powerful man in the world put a target on your child’s back, our would you rather him be stopped by the police on a dark road? If you heard a Black man was accused of a crime, and there were two competing allegations — one by a cop and one by Donald Trump — which one would you believe? Better yet, would you rather live in a country where 800,000 Donald Trumps were walking around with guns and badges or a country where one random police officer served as president every day?

OK, here’s the last choice. Which would you rather have:

Every single police officer from now until the end of time will be qualified, incorruptible and free or prejudice, BUT Donald Trump has to be president for life, or:

Donald Trump is ousted from office tomorrow, but every single police officer will be replaced by someone as racist as Donald Trump?

Loading...

Here’s a more difficult choice:

In exchange for Peter Thiel being made the CEO of America, including every corporation and all three branches of government, but no one will ever misuse religion again?

OR:

EVERYONE in America becomes a Bible-thumping, Christian zealot who believes in the worst interpretation of Christianity but Peter Thiel miraculously becomes a decent human being and dedicates his money, power, technology and influence to helping every single person he can.

Would you rather have one extremely powerful, privileged, wealthy white man with almost unlimited resources fighting a white multitude who believes in a twisted, racist 2,000-year-old ideology that has caused wars, lynchings, discrimination and hate because no amount of logic or truth can dissuade them, or:

One evil racist with unlimited resources battling an entire cult of good, decent, non-racist human beings?

You have 24 hours.

Wolfie's avatar
Michaela Tally's avatar
J C's avatar
Heather R.'s avatar
Jane van Dis's avatar
37 Likes∙
3 Restacks
37

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
G.O.A.T. Tournament Final Four: Would You Rather ...
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
3
3
Share

Discussion about this post

User's avatar
J C's avatar
J C
Apr 10

I can't decide. They're all terrible.

Expand full comment
Like (7)
Reply
Share
Karen Turley's avatar
Karen Turley
Apr 10

OK, this one is the REAL "drink a bucket of poison or stick a spike in your eye" choice. I was wrong about it before.

FUUUUCK.

Expand full comment
Like (4)
Reply
Share
1 more comment...
Kristen Clarke Protected Black America. Trump’s Replacement Will Hunt Us.
Trump’s new head of the DOJ’s Civil Rights Division will allow the police, the landlords, and the tech sector to unleash antebellum against Black…
Jan 27 • 
Elie Mystal
3,509

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
Kristen Clarke Protected Black America. Trump’s Replacement Will Hunt Us.
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
69
Book Excerpt: Why Do We Give White Guys a License to Kill Black People?
In his new book, “Bad Law: Ten Popular Laws That Are Ruining America,” Elie Mystal explains how the distortion of the Castle Doctrine led to Florida's…
Mar 28 • 
Elie Mystal
2,128

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
Book Excerpt: Why Do We Give White Guys a License to Kill Black People?
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
43
Why White People* Didn’t Like Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl Performance
*Not all white people. Some exclusions apply. Void where caucasity prohibited.
Feb 10 • 
Michael Harriot
1,671

Share this post

ContrabandCamp
ContrabandCamp
Why White People* Didn’t Like Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl Performance
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
132

Ready for more?

© 2025 Michael Harriot
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

Create your profile

User's avatar

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.