CRT for HOTD: Rhaenyra Targaryen Wins Karen of the Year, Most Outstanding Fascist at WHITEFOLKS Awards
Westeros' highest honors were awarded shortly after the third season finale of "House of the Dragon."
Kings Landing, Westeros, Aug. 9, 2026 – The Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, Drainer of Swamps, Stopper of Steals, Grabber of Pussies, Very Stable Genius and Baddest Bitch to Ever Mount a Dragon added a few more titles to her name after sweeping the major categories at the highly coveted WHITEFOLK Awards, including Karen of the Year, Fascist of the Year and the Monarch Most Likely to Crash Out.
Originally called the Yakubian Image Awards, the ceremony was a joint venture between Westeros Honors for Iron Throne Enthusiasts (WHITE) and the Federation to Oppress the Lowborn in the Kingdom (FOLK). The finalists were announced during the annual WHITEFOLK Correspondents’ Dinner, which recognizes excellence in multiple categories.
Many industry experts were shocked to discover that the queen of the dragon riders had swept the highest honors after serving less than a month. Her supporters, however, denied reports that she had sent a raven to the WHITEFOLK’s governor asking him to “find” 11,780 votes.
“I was chosen by God, my daddy and the richest families in the Seven Kingdoms,” the newly installed queen said in her acceptance speech. “Even the Founding Fathers said the person with the most dragons should be queen. They didn’t actually write it down but, trust me, I saw it in a dream.”
Appearing before a crowd that Targaryen administration officials called “the largest crowd to ever gather at the Mall on Westeros,” the queen’s speech followed a brief, private meeting with faith leaders (who curiously did not respond to ContrabandCamp’s request for comments). Accompanied by her curiously dark-haired son and clad in a custom suit of armor from Louys Vuytton’s Darth Batman collection, the monarch also took the opportunity to announce that she was also running for Messiah.
“I am the prince that was promised,” she told the audience.
The stunning awards sent shockwaves throughout the realm. Most analysts expected Alicent Hightower to take home the Karen of the Year award for her outstanding attempts at poisoning her son Aemond, sending her son Daeron to live with a homicidal maniac, trying to perform a nonconsensual moon tea abortion on her daughter Helaena and attempting to abandon another grandchild. Lady Jeyne Arryn was a dark horse for leading the Seven Kingdoms in moon-door evacuations while Rhaena Targaryen expected a few votes for her incessant whining about her rescue dragon.
“I didn’t rescue Sheepstealer,” she explained. “He rescued me.”
Perhaps the biggest shock came when Rhaenyra was awarded the trophy for Most Outstanding Fascist. “This is the same old Targaryen bullshit,” Ormund Hightower said in a posthumous statement. “I never thought I’d see the day when the WHITEFOLKs would become a DEI award.”
Here is the complete list of nominees and winners.
